| back & forth |
May 21, 2014 @ 8:09 p.m.
Once and every time I spoke with my father...

       My energy would zap. Stress levels would shoot up and my nerve endings would fry. And today.
       It was not the same.
       Today I finally felt a measure of serenity when he talked and I listened. Those are our conversations.
       He talks.
       I listen.
       And occasionally make sounds of assent.

       There was nothing different. It was the same topic/s. Same story of his life. But I felt more detached and less drowned. More objective and less on the defensive. And when I started disagreeing in my head, I just took a deep breath. I thought of
       the present
       and thought of how not to be him.

       It helped. So much, it helped.

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