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February 07, 2013 @ 4:33 p.m.
Once when I was seven...

       I fell on top of the Christmas tree. Lesson learned. Never stand precariously on the armrest of a flimsy chair to hang ornaments while singing christmas carols with wrong lyrics and expect a five year old, with the disposition of a squirrel, to sit still and act as counterbalance for more than one minute. Unless, of course, you want you knees to act as nutcrackers for all those fragile Christmas balls.
       But I must warn against it. It hurts. Bad.

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