Because I am not a good human being
April 08, 2013 @ 5:30 p.m.
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I have been watching him. And I have been thinking. And worrying.

Always worrying.

I suppose my mom is right. I homeschool him for my benefit, not his. To assuage my fears. And I have a lot of fear. He is just so... different. We are so black and white.

And I see my brother. And I fear. I fear he will be the same. Unfounded. Because I forget Athan is more like his father and less like mine.

Maybe, what I'm really afraid of, is him being like me...?

So maybe, the problem is me. It is I that should not be like my father. And I should trust Athan to be Athan.

Let things be.

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